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Spider-Man vs Mario (Death Battle)
Spider-Man vs Mario is a Death Battle by The Irish VS Writer Description Season 1 Episode 1! Marvel vs Mario! Icons garbed in red and blue battle to the very end, Who will prove to be more worthy to be in the public eye? Intro (Cue: Wiz and Boomstick) Wiz: For many years, Nintendo and Marvel have decimated their rivals and have brought hundreds of millions of people into their fandom: Truly they are the icons of comics and games. Boomstick: Now these two companies have created many amazing characters over the years but today, we will have two of their most popular heroes wearing red and blue that protect their homes every day of their lives. Wiz: Spider-Man - The web warrior and pride of Marvel Comics! Boomstick: And Mario - The Italian meatball and master of the odyssey! With all that said you may not know us, He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick! Wiz: Thanks for explaining the obvious. Anyway, it's our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle! Spider-Man (Cue: Spider-Man 1 Theme Song) Wiz: Peter Parker really wasn't somebody you would expect to be a hero: He was wimpy and he was constantly bullied by the likes of Flash Thompson. Boomstick: Day in day out. This little bitch was either shoved into his locker, Being pushed around the place, Tripped up and all the stereotypical sorts of shit you see all the time in all those shitty 90s movies your mom for some reason keeps watching with you! Wiz: This lasted for years, But it all changed when on one fateful day, Peter and his class went on a field trip and he was bitten by a Radioactive Spider... Boomstick: Yeah, Yeah we get it he became a wrestler, Uncle died blah blah, Great Power comes Great Responsibility blah blah you know how this shit goes. Wiz: Many years have passed since Spider-Man swore to respect his Uncle Ben's memory, And Peter has changed from an inexperienced child to a fully grown man with a job, And he had even finally defeated many of New York's greatest villains like The Kingpin, Green Goblin and Venom. Boomstick: And he hasn't been slouching for all those years and he's deffo gotten pretty damn good at fighting over that time! (Cue: Alive) Wiz: Every Spider has their web and Peter deffo has his own, Thanks to his Web-Shooters. Now Spider-Man sometimes can shoot webs organically like in the original Sam Raimi movie but nearly every continuity he has his Web-Shooters that are worn on his wrists that are activated by the slightest touch of his finger upon the super-sensitive electrode located on the palm of his hand Boomstick: Such big words for a man with a small man, lol. Wiz: Shush Boomstick. I'm actually doing my job, anyway, By adjusting the nozzle of his web-shooter in one easy motion, Spidey can eject his web fluid in any one of three ways. Boomstick: As a thin incredibly strong line for swinging. Wiz: As a fine quick spreading spray. Boomstick: Or as a thick, sticky liquid which is like glue so don't eat it! Wiz: Obviously. These webs are quite impressive as well since it is said in the Amazing Spider-Man annual no. 1 that "One strand of Web, that if it were possible to increase its thickness to a half-inch, One strand would be enough to be enough to hold the Mighty-Musceled Thing a prisoner for life" They are even 90 per cent fireproof. Boomstick: Spider-Man can do some badass weapons with these webs including making - A Shield that can block bullets, a parachute, a safety net, a barrier, a pair of skis, a raft a ball and a club if he wants to be like Scout or just plain old sticky glue. Wiz: He can also track his opponents with his Spider-Tracers, Which are small animatronics that if he flings at let's say the hood of a person's car, He can track where they are in a 91 Meters range and he even has one that is made out of Antarctic Vibranium that can melt any metal within contact. Boomstick: But Spidey has his Spider-Armour Mark 4. Now, this thing is a beauty! Not only does it look more kick-ass than his original, But it also is bulletproof and laser proof to the point where they bounce right off him, And this thing has Concrete Webbing, Taser Webbing which he calls Bug Zappers and Expanding Web-Foam, webbing that becomes foam once it comes out of the web-cartridge. Wiz: And with the Iron Spider armour, which was built by Tony Stark during the events of Civil War: He has three talons located on his back which he can use to impale opponents, fling projectiles back at his attackers or just smacking people. Boomstick: Spider-Man is one guy who can box - He's been able to battle Daredevil to a standstill and even surpass him in some of their fights and Daredevil isn't some blind guy to laugh at, This guy is the same guy who is a master Boxer, And is a master of Pressure Point combat. Wiz: Spider-Man just fight up close against his opponents, He usually blitzes his opponents with his Acrobatics and his immense Speed: As he usually manoeuvres through trap rooms with walls that burn someone touches them, And he can get around these with ease. (Cue: Spectacular Spider-Man) Boomstick: But even then he's a quick little fucker as he can dodge shots from Iron Man's repulsor blasts which are apparently as fast as light! Wiz: Though most of Spider-Man's greatest speed feats thanks to the Spider-Sense. Which unlike what most people think it does, In fact, it allows him to see in all directions for any attacks or even poisons and if he's being betrayed, Which comes in the form of a tingle in his skull. Boomstick: Hell, Spider-Man can even use this OP ability even when he is asleep or unconscious, Wait how does that work? Wiz: Well, in my opinion, I think because the Spider-Sense causes sharp pain in the back of his head, Maybe that quick pain instantly wakes up Peter. It even alerts him when there is observers or cameras when he is changing costume! Boomstick: Hot Damn! That Spidey Sense really must be a bitch when your fighting somebody, When he has made his own Martial Art: The Way of the Spider! Wiz: This martial art uses his bullying experiences, his superhuman capabilities, his mastery of acrobatics, concepts from his training with Captain America and his training from Shang-Chi, This utilizes up close and personal combat, striking nerve clusters and pressure points with spider strength and spider speed, So basically don't laugh this off. Boomstick: Yeah that's great and all but his best ability is easily The Mark of Kaine! where he uses his Wall Crawling to basically RIP THE FUCKING FACE OFF HIS OPPONENT! That's fucking disgusting! Em...yes Despite his big mouth, Spider-Man does have his flaws. With enough danger, his Spider-Sense can cause extreme pain in his head to a point where he could be left open Boomstick: And let's be honest, He has the worst luck in Comic Book History! Like it's insane! Wiz: But one of his biggest weaknesses is pesticide ethyl chloride which if you don't know is a gas with a strong Ether-like odour which may be present as a cold liquid under pressure, Which he got thanks to his Spider-Powers for some reason. Boomstick: Even with all this, With a team of gods, large green monsters who can lift up entire Buildings and Russian Spies who are like James Bond. For the Avengers to call a kid from Brooklyn to help them, It truly shows just how skilled and respected Spider-Man is in the Super-Human Community! Captain America and his team look up to see Spider-Man flipping over them before he landed. Spider-Man: Hey Everyone! Mario (Cue: Mario Theme) Boomstick: Ah Mario, He's the smiling little Italian man that has burrowed through the hearts of many - And how can you blame them. His games are class! Wiz: Born as one of the Star Children, Mario was destined for greatness since the start. But when he was being carried from the stork with his brother Luigi they were knocked down and they both fell onto Yoshi Island causing the events of a pretty good game. Boomstick: That little fucker's cries kinda annoyed me and the whole "stork" thing is bull shite and we all know it: Or the ones that were told. Wiz: Yeah let's not get into that debacle, Anyway, Many years later - Mario was quite the hero in the Mushroom Kingdom. Defeating any foes that even dared to kidnap the beautiful Princess Peach, Which happens quite a lot of times. Boomstick: Trust me she gets kidnapped more times than I cringe when watching that shite show Love Island (Seriously it's really bad) Wiz: Anyway, Mario has gained a lot of weapons since his days of battling against Gorillas. (Cue: Jump Up, Super Star!) Boomstick: Yeah he really does have a lot of weapons on him but let's look at their basic weapons like the Fire and Ice Flowers which do exactly the same as you think they do. Wiz: But he doesn't even really need the Fire Flower as he has actually learnt how to use pyrokinesis on his own. Anyway, Both flowers are very useful strategically in combat: Ice to freeze his opponents and Fire to keep his opponents away. Boomstick: But this fucker isn't just a threat to people on the ground - He can also attack his opponents from the skies thanks to these power-ups: The Red Star allows him to glide around the battlefield for just a while but if he needs to fly for long he can use the cape and become Superman...on a budget. Also, The Propeller Suit makes him look like an eejit but he does get a ground pound that can one-shot normal enemies! Wiz: The Rock Mushroom allows him to roll around in a ball like Sonic, Except instead of like the Speedy Hedgehog he has a rocky shield around his body. Boomstick: The Cloud Flower allows him to get higher jumps and can create platforms underneath him so he can blaze past stages a lot quicker and a lot more efficiently than he usually can. Wiz: The Boomerang Flower allows him to throw boomerangs: And he can also turn into a Statue which useful in so many ways but I will go two of the most useful ways. He could hide away from opponents or he could fly with another form and then transform into a statue. Boomstick: Which obviously will fuck some guy's shite up! Wiz: Mario can actually turn himself into another piece of metal: Gold, And this time he can actually move around and shoot projectiles his opponent's way. Boomstick: With his many suits he can actually do more flying - Like the Super Leaf or the Racoon Leaf, But when he spins his tail he can slow himself down. Hell, this tail is probably tougher than Tails' because his can smash bricks. Wiz: The Tanooki Suit... Boomstick: Is PETA's worst nightmare! Wiz: Yeah but PETA isn't really the highest form of intelligence, Anyway, The Frog Suit allows him to swim faster, The Hammer Suit allows him to throw hammers and Cat Mario allows him to run up walls. Boomstick: But his best suit is the White Tano... Wiz: Shush Boomstick! The White Tanooki is a suit that will not be taking into account; Because of the main reason that Mario would need to die five times before he can use it, And in the rules of our Death Battles: Once someone dies, that's it! Boomstick: Well that shut me up! (Cue: Melee Theme) Wiz: Your damn right it did! Anyway, Don't worry Mario can get invincible with his Starman form. The Rainbow Star form also does the same but he does gain a speed boost. Boomstick: The Mini Mushroom allows him to shrink: Due to his light size, he can jump much higher than usual and gain more hang time. He is even so light that he can run across water and to make thing better for the tiny plumber he can still hurt with a ground and pound. Wiz: The Mega Mushroom is the exact opposite, As it grows him to the size of buildings and allows him to stomp and flatten opponents just by walking. Boomstick: He doesn't really even need his Mega Mushroom to flatten opponents because he has his many hammers, His main hammer can break through stone walls, brick walls, and large rocks. Hell, it can even allow him to destroy castles and fortresses in a short time. Wiz: The Golden Hammer allows him to hit even harder and it also boosts his stats including his jumping abilities which is more useful in combat. Boomstick: Mario can gain spinning punches thanks to his Luma companions that are strong enough to shatter crystals and even throw around Bowser like he's a little bitch. Wiz: Cappy is quite an impressive weapon and is easily his most useful weapon, he can throw Cappy in different angles/directions at enemies to stun them or knock their headgear off. Also, he can throw is around in circles like a boomerang. Boomstick: He can also warp to check-points. Is there anything this little hat can't do and where the hell can I get one? Wiz: Cappy allows him to actually capture opponents and can enter an opponent's mind and take all their abilities for his own benefits. And by entering an opponent's mind he can do it to anybody, From any old Gooma, Bowser to even a T-Rex. Boomstick: Holy Fuck! Wiz: Despite his many weapons and his great reputation as the symbol of Nintendo, He isn't perfect at all. His power-ups either disappear after being hit or have a time limit, And some of them are useless against certain enemies and aren't practical for combat. Plus despite how many power-ups he has, He doesn't have all of them at hand. Boomstick: And his reaction speed isn't great, In Mario Galaxy, Kamek was able to cut in front of him, and monologue, before launching a slow blast of magic and he still got hit! Wiz: Which is strange since he is actually a sports star, Quite conflicting... Boomstick: But still even with all these flaws, Mario is one man you do not wanna mess with, He fights a walking talking Dragon every day of the week and actually beats him: All with a big smile on his face, No wonder Peach always allows him to have a slice of the cake. Mario jumps on the top of a flagpole, successfully landing a 1-Up. Mario: Oh yeah, Mario time. Intermission Wiz: Alright the combatants are set, We've run the data through all possibilities! Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!! Battle Location: Final Destination (Super Smash Bros.) Spider-Man had been blitzing through his opponents: Captain Falcon, Fox and Pit had been left beaten by the Wall-Crawler as he attempted to get to the top and get into the Super Smash Bros roster, And he had one opponent left before he could reach that goal and that was Mario. Spider-Man swung past the abyss of space before he landed on the floor and took a stance. Staring in front of him, emerged a large green pipe from the floor. Suddenly, Mario leapt out of the hole and landed on the floor as the pipe went downwards. "You've got a black belt in stupid if you think you're gonna beat me." Peter quipped as he then got into a battle stance, Mario struck a pose as he yelled "Let's a go!" with his fist in the air before he then did the same thing. FIGHT! (Cue: King Kaliente) Spider-Man closed the distance between him and his opponent and attempted to end it quickly with a jab, Mario sidestepped the attack and flung his foot only to meet air as Spider-Man flipped across the air before he landed just a few feet away. "Yahoo!" Mario bellowed as he then attempted to blow Spider-Man away with a wall of flames, Peter avoided the attack only to look up and see Mario descending at top speeds with a ground and pound. This time, Spider-Man was hit and he crashed onto the floor as he groaned in pain before he pushed himself up without trouble. "Oof, You're nearly the same size as ol' Willie!" Spider-Man taunted before he then flipped in the air and sent Mario spiralling in the air with a downward kick. The Plumber let out a loud "OOF!" in pain as he then smashed on his back. Mario spun away as he then was met by a flurry of punches before he stopped the assault with a spin, Sending Spider-Man back. Peter then fiddled his web-shooters before he then fired a ball of web, Mario swatted the attack and avoided the next attack from Spidey with a flip to rival an Olympic athlete. Mario landed as he then shot some flames and then took to the air once again with a flurry of shots before repeating the process. Spider-Man dodged each strike like they were nothing and then webbed Mario by the chest and pulled him close and slammed a punch into Mario's chin sending him flying upwards from how powerful the punch was. Mario recovered and then attempted to knock Spidey away with a flame infused ground and pound, Spider-Man webbed Mario by the neck once again and flung him across the stage. Mario skidded himself to a halt just before he could fall right off. Mario equipped his hammer and then began attempting to squash the spider with it only leaving a crater underneath where Parker last stood. Spider-Man cartwheeled away before knocking him away with a kick, Then assaulted him with a flurry of punches in all directions leaving blurs in the air. Mario fell to the floor in a heap as he groaned in exhaustion and pain before he then equipped his boomerang flower and flung a barrage of boomerangs to Spidey's way, A tingle went expanded throughout his skull before he then flipped away from each projectile and launched a web into Mario's eyes making him stumble as he attempted to claw the adhesive from his face and when he finally ripped it off he jumped away from another assault and flung left some boomerangs for Spider-Man to swat away with ease. Mario then landed behind Spider-Man and flung a blue-shell towards the superhero's way, Who then deflected it with a punch. But Mario sent the shell back towards Parker's way - Causing a pattern that repeated for nearly ten seconds before Spider-Man grabbed the shell and jumped into the air before he flung it at Mario's head. (Cue: Combat Music 4) The plumber stumbled as birds began encircling his scalp, Mario tried to regain his composure but soon he was knocked down by a swing kick to the chest, Suddenly Mario jumped up and collected a weapons drop which yielded with him wielding a baseball bat. Mario took a swing at Spidey's head, The wall-crawler evaded the assault and created a baseball bat with his webbing and met Mario's attack with his own like a sword duel. Both men swung with all their might - Attempting to knock the other from their feet, But Spidey was the first to make this happen, Sending Mario scrambling across the ground. Mario then equipped his ice flower and flung it Spidey's way, The Wall Crawler attempted to dodge but alas Mario grabbed him by the collar and with all his might flung he flung Spider-Man into the ice projectile causing Parker to be frozen in a block in ice. "Let's a-go!" Mario exclaimed as he began battering the frozen Spider-Man with all his might causing cracks to appear around Parker's icy prison: Mario then finished Spidey off with a spinning attack sending him flying away. Spider-Man webbed himself to the floor just to keep himself from falling off the edge and of course stopping him from losing the chance to be in the smash bros tournament. Spidey rolled away from another assault from Mario and with one smack to the back of his neck he sent him falling to his face. "That's why J.J pays me the big bucks!" Spider-Man taunted as he prepared to take a picture of the knocked out Mario but he was interrupted when the Plumber had smashed into him causing him to be sent flying, But he was met by Mario once again who sent him back with an uppercut. It was soon apparent that Mario had used his Double Cherry which created a clone of Mario. The two Plumber's soon double-teamed Spidey and began battering him with all their might. Spider-Man just had to endure the kicks and stomps to the face, He just had to wait for the right opportunity. Until he finally found it: Peter grabbed hold of Mario's leg and with all his might he flung him into his clone causing the two of them to shout "OOF" like a Roblox character. Spider-Man then webbed up the two Mario's and then stomped on them causing them to be sent flying in different directions - Spidey then grabbed Mario by his throat and flung Mario's clone into the infinite abyss causing a large shockwave to Blair through the stage while a spark of light erupted from where the clone once was. Spider-Man then fired his taser webs and sent the stunned Mario into the air with an uppercut. The man who had defeated Bowser was howling in the air before he was sent even further into the air with a kick before he was then flung back to the floor causing it to shake from the force while a crater formed underneath the Plumber. (Cue: Dr Octopus Final Battle Theme) Spidey made his way through the air before he then was sent crashing to the floor by a Star Jump. Peter had no time to react before he was hit by a Mario tornado sending him over the edge. Mario stood triumphantly preparing to hear that sound he was o-so familiar with but nothing happened making him confused as he looked over the edge only to see nothing. Mario ran over to the other side before suddenly he was hit straight in the face by a swing kick sending him crashing through the floor as he wheezed in agony before he then looked up to see Spider-Man in his Spider-Armour Mark 4. "I'm done playing!" Spidey growled as he then went in for the assault. Mario was soon battered across the arena before he suddenly equipped his Star Form: Mario stopped the assault as Spider-Man continued trying to batter him only with no effect. Peter soon was punched in the face sending him flying and leaving a black mark in the shape of his fist on Spider-Man's cheek. Spidey then began flinging Bug Zappers at Mario before he leapt over the attack. Mario growled in anger thanks to the bug zappers before he then jumped into the air and attempted to batter Spider-Man once again. Peter dodged each attack with such finesse that he would easily make Olympic gymnasts look like eejits. Mario soon ran out of energy for the Star form, Spidey landed to the floor and punched Mario in the face sending him crashing into a smash ball causing it to disperse within a second leaving only Mario with an aura of flames around his body. "YAHOO!" Mario bellowed as he fired a wall of spiralling flames at the web-slinger. "Holy Shit!" Spider-Man shouted as he suddenly created a shield of webbing stopping the flames from burning him into ashes within a second. Mario landed to the floor expecting to see a cooked Spidey but what he saw was a charging Spidey. (Cue: Underworld Gatekeeper Ch 9) The poor plumber had no time to react before he was battered by a left hook leaving him open for a flurry of brutal punches and kicks before he was sent flying until he was stopped in mid-air by a web and pulled back to his original position. Spider-Man wasn't messing anymore which was evident thanks to the fact that he immediately flung a powerful jab into Mario's face, causing the plumber's oversized nose to be flattened leaving a trail of blood on the floor. Parker sent Mario stumbling with a kick before he flipped to the floor and fired Impact Webbing straight into Mario's chest causing a large hole to appear in the plumber's torso as he moaned in agony. "Mamma Mia..." Mario mumbled as soon he was kicked in the head, splitting it open and spraying blood all over the place. Spider-Man then webbed himself backwards and used himself as a catapult at top speeds, Mario had no time to react before he was hit, Spraying his remains around the place and off the edge of the platform. (Stop Music) "Oof, Maybe I went a bit far there!" Spider-Man said as he then took out his camera and kept it up with a trail of webbing and jumped in front of it and putting his thumb up in a pose before the camera flashed, Taking the picture and proved him as the victor of this battle. KO! Results (Cue: Spectacular Spider-Man theme) Boomstick: Wow that was surprising, did we go too far on this one. Wiz: No we didn't, while Mario may be a physical force and he could deffo hold his own against the wall-crawler for a short while but eventually his style of fighting would be his downfall. Boomstick: Yeah, Mario's base attacks are quite basic and are predictable for most opponents but against a foe like Spider-Man, the man who is considered one of the smartest people in the Marvel Universe, It is very likely that Peter would eventually figure out Mario's moves and avoid them with ease. Wiz: Spider-Man wasn't beaten up-close as because of Mario's primitive style of punches and kicks, would be no match against Spider-Man's Way of Spider which if you guys don't remember allowed him to fight against some of the greatest fighters in the Marvel Universe. Boomstick: Yeah like if he can fight Captain America okay - Mario wouldn't be too much trouble. Wiz: The Spider-Sense is just something that allowed him to always be one step ahead of the plumber and Mario would sadly always be playing catch up in a confrontation. Boomstick: And don't say a punch from Pete wouldn't hurt Mario who is just a human remember a tough one, but still a human and remember what Spider-Man does regularly does to superhumans with his punches, yeah if ye can remember he can send them flying and knock them out with ease. Wiz: Well we are not saying Spider-Man would knock Mario out with one punch but what we are saying is: Spider-Man's punches would eventually chip away Mario's durability till the end where Peter can finish him off, Also as a human Mario obviously needs air so suffocation is an easy way to take him out: Which Spider-Man can obviously do with his many types of webbing. Boomstick: Look yeah - Spider-Man can beat Mario around like a footballers wife in his base form, but what about his power-ups, wouldn't his versatility allow him to get a win? Wiz: While yes Mario's wacky power-ups are very impressive and have gotten him through many years of battling against bowser and his goons but most of them have two weaknesses: 1. Their time limit isn't very long for the invincibility power-ups and 2. All the other ones can be knocked out of with one hit. Boomstick: Ah I see: Spidey can always avoid attacks from Mario which would leave his stars useless or he could just punch Mario in the face out of his forms. Wiz: Precisely, Spider-Man's speed and spider-sense allowed him to always leave Mario's stars useless and a punch would leave the rest of his forms done for. What's worse for Mario is that when Spider-Man equips his armours he would leave The Plumber helpless with the many web options or with the Iron Spider he could always keep Mario at a distance with his talons. Boomstick: Also the fire flower would be useless against Spider-Man's webs since it is stated that it is fireproof and can hold Human Torch in place. Wiz: And just for context Human Torch's body is 593 Celsius which Mario's flames has never been shown to reach that level of temperature. In the end, Mario may be a versatile son of a bitch with a lot more options by a long shot but Spider-Man's smaller list of options was just more useful. Boomstick: Looks like Mario really got smashed...bro! Wiz: The winner is Spider-Man! Category:The Irish VS Writer Category:What if Death Battles Category:'Video Games vs Comics' themed Death Battles Category:Series Premiere Category:Season Premiere Category:Completed Death Battles Category:Irish VS Writer DB